"Yew can aaassk me anythin' yew wahnt, sugar, long as you keep talkin' in that accen'" And with that, the lady at check-in in Atlanta airport burst into laughter, nudging her friend next to her. I had started a question with 'Can I just ask..." which is quite a normal English turn of phrase in my mind but, to her, it was all just unbearably "kerrr-yewt".
I get this sort of reaction alot. The English accent just seems to captivate Americans, seizing them with visions of the Royal family and James Bond, of stiff upper lips and plucky dignity. You are attributed with intelligence and sophistication, far beyond anything you might say to justify such an assessment.
So not surprisingly I thought this was a pretty good deal for a while, and attempted to pitch my accent somewhere between Pierce Brosnan and Hugh Grant, complete with sheepish grin and affected reluctance to talk about my Britishness. Surely this would lead to great success, I thought to myself, amongst people so ready to believe in my good qualities.
However recently I have started to doubt the use of the Accent. To do business here, one needs to be taken seriously. And to be taken seriously, it doesn't help that prospective clients, on hearing me speak, are given to reminiscences on the London Olympics and congratulating me on Kate Middleton's pregnancy.
They may like what they hear but, when it comes to the gritty decision about what will actually get a job done, the lofty qualities associated with the British don't seem to me to count in our favor. We are thought of, like a nice teapot perhaps, or even the Royal family itself, as something to admire and feel good about, but useful and effective only on the rarest of occasions.
For the first time, I am starting to think that Brits who succeed in this country do so in spite of, not because of, how they sound.
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